nursing

OK, first of all let me start with saying that I am not one of those women that has a huge emotional tie to breast feeding or feel that I am intensely more connected to my child due to breast feeding. I have been blessed to be able to nurse my babies with relative ease. I do not practice attachment parenting. It is fine for some families but what has (and is) worked/ing best for our family is using the PDF method set forth in Babywise. I'm a scheduled person, I like knowing what my day will bring for the most part and how to get everything done around my baby's eating and sleeping schedule. But, as I step on my little parenting soapbox, I can in no way understand why we as mothers continue to place judgement on and criticize other mothers. Each of us knows the struggles and internal conflicts that come with being a mother. Should I work outside of the home or be a SAHM? Cloth or disposable diapers? How many children is the right number for my family? Public, private or homeschooling? Does he/she have a fever? Do I call the doctor? Has he/she eaten enough today? Oh no, another blow out! Ahhh, the only pair of comfortable jeans I own seriously smell like spit up! You get my point. We are in many ways all in the same boat. I'm just as guilty of the next mom for judging but I have to tell you I am seriously praying for my mind to stop that horrible mess. We should be more encouraging and supportive of each other. Especially now that there are far more serious things our children are facing at much younger ages. When it comes down to my children making important choices, like whether or not to except their friend's offer of drugs, it's not going to really matter if they were breast fed or not. Enough on that, I just got totally side tracked but I had to say it. I'm changing my thinking and praying so hard to be an encourager and not judger of other moms.

My real point is that this time around nursing is posing some new obstacles. With Kirby it was easy peasy. He was my only child so once we got the actual process down it was nothing. Then came Bennett, still not such a big deal. Kirby was 19 months old when Bennett was born so still very much at an age where I could keep him occupied for the time it took to nurse. A snack or short video was always a good option, not to mention the fact that at that point he was awesome at independent play. But now we have Judah. He is just as much a good nurser as the other two but Kirby and Bennett are at much different stages. Almost even more demanding simply for the fact that they are much less easy to occupy. Yes they do ok to play on their own, yes they can get their own snack if need be, yes Kirby can go to the potty unassisted. However, if you factor in the brotherly squabbles, the 'hey, I want to paint/play with play dough/go outside/etc.' and so many other things that only they can think of I find myself saying so very often...'I'm a little busy right now, you will have to wait.' I do not at all mind telling my children to wait but patience is not something they are very good at so I then have to endure whining, which is not so good for my patience. So we have resorted to watching much more TV than I had hoped and much less of the other activities that I would much rather the boys be doing. I am quite honestly putting off potty training Bennett because I know I can't give it enough attention. The preschool things I wanted to do with Kirby and Bennett will have to wait a while. Judah is ever so slowly working to extend his schedule so hopefully that will make life much easier on us all. I refuse to stop nursing just because it would make my days easier. The advantages, both for health (his and mine) and financial (formula is even more expensive here if you can believe it), far outweigh the inconvenience. But I definitely never thought that something that never really posed a problem two times before is now an issue. Alas, Bennett will eventually be potty trained and both will eventually know all the same things other preschool age children know. The added bonus is we will all continue to get a lesson in patience. Although in many ways this is a difficult season I don't want it to pass too quickly.