During my time in TL I had no television or Internet unless I went over to my friends house. So I had lots of time to read and spend time in the Word. One of the things I read each day was the blessing Jacob gave his sons, specifically to his son Judah. I've continued to read these five verses over and over and the words make my heart happy so I wanted to share them.
8 Judah, your brothers will praise you. Your hand will be on the necks of your enemies; your father's sons will bow down to you.
9 Judah is a young lion--my son, you return from the kill--he crouches; he lies down like a lion and like a lioness--who wants to rouse him?
10 The scepter will not depart from Judah, or the staff from between his feet, until He whose right it is comes and the obedience of the peoples belongs to Him.
11 He ties his donkey to a vine, and the colt of his donkey to the choice vine. He washes his clothes in wine, and his robes in the blood of grapes.
12 His eyes are darker than wine, and his teeth are whiter than milk.
Genesis 49:8-12
I love this because it demonstrates strength and power given by the Lord. I don't necessarily want my son to be violent toward enemies, or even have enemies for that matter, but I like to interpret that particular line as Judah will have the ability to defeat anyone against him through Godly wisdom and pursuit of things just. I was encouraged by these words of inner wisdom and outer strength. Especially right now for him to have strength to withstand any preterm issues we are having. I know this wasn't written specifically for my Judah, but these words give me comfort.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
new thoughts
During this whole pregnancy I have been back and forth as to whether or not this would be our last baby--well biological at least, adoption is always a very real possibility. So my prayer has been should I take permanent measures to prevent future pregnancies--getting my tubes tied during the c-section (although I value whatever your opinion is on this particular subject please don't share with me right now). We had always said after the third baby I would get my tubes tied and be done. But from the beginning of this pregnancy I haven't been totally at peace about this. We joked that if this was a boy we were definitely done but even since finding out it was a boy we still weren't sure. Not that I want to have a million babies, I just feel like I'm not even 30 yet, do I really want to make a permanent decision? But to be honest with everything that has happened in the last month I am seriously reconsidering future pregnancies in China.
With the on going internal debate I've already been having for the past 27 weeks and adding to it the experience of the past month, I just don't know. The heartache I felt at the realization that we could have lost Judah was so very sobering. As I was curled up on our bed, having contractions and sobbing I prayed and prayed that if it was God's will that we should lose Judah that my heart would be ready to deal with the pain. I prayed that my faith would be strong and I would look toward how HE would be glorified through a loss like that. Most of all I prayed that Judah would make it through unscathed and we would end up making it full term. So far this is the direction we seem to be heading in. I was able to get out and get wonderful care and Judah was still 'perfect' according to Dr. P. Although, we still have 8 weeks to make it until we fly to TL as a family...unless it's neccesary to leave earlier. I admit that my heart does not feel ready to lose this child. I will fight for him by doing all that is in my power to make it full term.
So my internal debate continues. I'm still pretty sure we will not be taking permanent measures at this point, but adding this into the mix does change how I will think about future pregnancies. I trust in my FATHER and I know HE will help guide us down the right path for our family.
With the on going internal debate I've already been having for the past 27 weeks and adding to it the experience of the past month, I just don't know. The heartache I felt at the realization that we could have lost Judah was so very sobering. As I was curled up on our bed, having contractions and sobbing I prayed and prayed that if it was God's will that we should lose Judah that my heart would be ready to deal with the pain. I prayed that my faith would be strong and I would look toward how HE would be glorified through a loss like that. Most of all I prayed that Judah would make it through unscathed and we would end up making it full term. So far this is the direction we seem to be heading in. I was able to get out and get wonderful care and Judah was still 'perfect' according to Dr. P. Although, we still have 8 weeks to make it until we fly to TL as a family...unless it's neccesary to leave earlier. I admit that my heart does not feel ready to lose this child. I will fight for him by doing all that is in my power to make it full term.
So my internal debate continues. I'm still pretty sure we will not be taking permanent measures at this point, but adding this into the mix does change how I will think about future pregnancies. I trust in my FATHER and I know HE will help guide us down the right path for our family.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
home
OK, so I've been home a week now. First let me just say that it is totally weird to come home after two weeks away and live in a totally new place. I love the new house and things are slowly but surely coming together. We got new couches that came this week and a new mattress for our bed--a foam pad on a piece of ply wood just wasn't cutting it anymore, especially at this stage in pregnancy. That thing couldn't have come soon enough. I've wanted to blog several times this week about my experience in Thailand but every moment I'm not resting I've been trying to be productive. Good news is Stan has our wireless internet up and running so I have quite a few blogs coming--hopefully--this week about things I had on my mind while I spent two weeks alone. It might be a little dangerous to give a pregnant woman two weeks alone with no TV and very limited internet access. Anyway, Judah and I are doing quite well at the moment. No scary pains since getting on the medication. We'll be flying out to go back to TL on June 25th (I will be 35 weeks) so just over 8 weeks left till I feel like I will breath a huge sigh of relief.
So until I write more later I would just like to thank everyone for the prayers and encouraging words. Let me tell you, it's times like these when I am so thankful for the family and friends we have. I think I forget sometimes what awesome people are a part of my life. I'm reminded that I need to be thankful everyday and not take anything for granted.
So until I write more later I would just like to thank everyone for the prayers and encouraging words. Let me tell you, it's times like these when I am so thankful for the family and friends we have. I think I forget sometimes what awesome people are a part of my life. I'm reminded that I need to be thankful everyday and not take anything for granted.
Friday, April 10, 2009
adventures in bangkok
Well, I guess it's time to go from silly to serious. So, as most of you know, Sunday was a little bit scary for me. For the past couple of weeks I was having cramps, very similar to period cramps, low across my abdomen. I thought it was most likely stretching and would always take that as my cue to have a rest and drink more water. Until Sunday. I woke up with the cramps which intensified through the morning as we were getting ready to host group. Finally I laid down and they continued to grow more intense. I knew something wasn't right because it was so familiar to the little bit of labor I had with Kirby. We called a family friend, who happens to be a doctor and live in our city, and he came right over. At that point all I could do was lay on my left side and drink as much water as possible. I was nauseas and vomiting so he was worried we would have to head to the hospital for an IV if I couldn't keep liquids down. Our friend left with our boys so I could enjoy real rest and quiet and within an hour the cramping (later determined to be preterm labor contractions) stopped. I took it easy all day Sunday and felt much better. When I woke up on Monday I had some light cramping again I took that as a cue to call the OB that handles all the cases for our peeps living in China. She was concerned and said I need to get to Bangkok that day. If I couldn't get a flight to Bangkok I had to go to Hong Kong.
Stan and I immediately got on the phone making travel arrangements. I had to make the trip to Bangkok alone but I wanted Stan to travel with me to KM to meet my flight. We were already too late to take the bus to KM (it was 10:00 and I had a 3:20 flight) so we were scrambling to find someone with a car to drive us. I was trying to relax and trust Father. By 11:00 we were able to find a car and start on our crazy drive to KM. Stan joked that if NASCAR ever makes it to China he has a great candidate for a driver. The road on the first part of the journey is bumpy and since we are driving through the mountains, quite curvy. The guy was going between 150-160 kilometers per hour, no joke. We were sure if I could make it through the car ride without having the baby we would be fine. The second part of the drive, while still quite fast and curvy, was much smoother and we made it to KM right at 2:00. I said good bye to Stan, a little scared and uncertain, checked in to my flight--already getting questioned by the airline because they thought I was too far along to fly--and finally on my way to Bangkok.
I arrived by 4:30 BKK time (an hour behind us) and went straight to the hospital. The OB I met with in January was already gone for the day so I met with a random, Dr. Bozo will be his name. I tell him what had been happening and he feel my stomach to see if I was having contractions. After feeling my stomach for 5 minutes he determined that there were no contractions and the pain and vomiting from the day before was due to food poisoning. No checking the cervix, no ultra sound to check the baby or even listening to his heart beat...nothing. This did not set well with me and I basically demanded to be admitted and monitored for 24 hours. So after about 2 hours of waiting I was finally snug in hospital room. I knew my OB would be paying me a visit the next day so I just settled in for a night of rest. Early the next morning Dr. P, her name is very Thai and very hard to spell, came for a visit. I explained everything to her, including that the feeling I had Sunday morning felt very much like the labor I experienced in the past. She actually listened and took seriously that I knew my body well enough to know something was not right. She checked for dilatation--none..PTL!--and had me scheduled for an ultra sound and meeting with her afterward. Not long after she left I began to feel cramping again. This was sort of a relief cause I knew if something was going on they would be able to see it. I was taken to see the u/s specialist and he did a VERY thorough exam. Judah looked great and I got to see more than I have been able to in the past u/s I've had this pregnancy.
Dr. P didn't see any reason to be concerned about the baby (she said he look perfect :) but was concerned I was having cramping again. She checked me out and thought it best to start me on medication to prevent contractions and a hormone to strengthen my uterus--just in case the cramping is from stretching, especially along the scar tissue from my two previous c-sections. So with that she also wanted to see me in one week to make sure the medication is working and I am well enough to head back home. I ended up staying one more night cause of some stomach issues that they were not wanting to cause dehydration. But eventually yesterday I was released. I'm staying in a small company apartment that is just a minute walk from our good friend's house. So I'm not completely lonely but definitely missing my men.
I'll be checked out next Thursday by Dr. P and hopefully headed home by next Friday. While I've been gone Stan has almost completed the move and done double parent duty. We have great friends in our city that have been helping out in so many ways. I am so thankful for them and everyone that has been praying for us over the past 5ish days. I have felt the prayers. :) Sorry this ended up being such a long story. I'm looking forward to more good news to come in the future. For now Judah and I will be enjoying some good food, quiet and rest.
Stan and I immediately got on the phone making travel arrangements. I had to make the trip to Bangkok alone but I wanted Stan to travel with me to KM to meet my flight. We were already too late to take the bus to KM (it was 10:00 and I had a 3:20 flight) so we were scrambling to find someone with a car to drive us. I was trying to relax and trust Father. By 11:00 we were able to find a car and start on our crazy drive to KM. Stan joked that if NASCAR ever makes it to China he has a great candidate for a driver. The road on the first part of the journey is bumpy and since we are driving through the mountains, quite curvy. The guy was going between 150-160 kilometers per hour, no joke. We were sure if I could make it through the car ride without having the baby we would be fine. The second part of the drive, while still quite fast and curvy, was much smoother and we made it to KM right at 2:00. I said good bye to Stan, a little scared and uncertain, checked in to my flight--already getting questioned by the airline because they thought I was too far along to fly--and finally on my way to Bangkok.
I arrived by 4:30 BKK time (an hour behind us) and went straight to the hospital. The OB I met with in January was already gone for the day so I met with a random, Dr. Bozo will be his name. I tell him what had been happening and he feel my stomach to see if I was having contractions. After feeling my stomach for 5 minutes he determined that there were no contractions and the pain and vomiting from the day before was due to food poisoning. No checking the cervix, no ultra sound to check the baby or even listening to his heart beat...nothing. This did not set well with me and I basically demanded to be admitted and monitored for 24 hours. So after about 2 hours of waiting I was finally snug in hospital room. I knew my OB would be paying me a visit the next day so I just settled in for a night of rest. Early the next morning Dr. P, her name is very Thai and very hard to spell, came for a visit. I explained everything to her, including that the feeling I had Sunday morning felt very much like the labor I experienced in the past. She actually listened and took seriously that I knew my body well enough to know something was not right. She checked for dilatation--none..PTL!--and had me scheduled for an ultra sound and meeting with her afterward. Not long after she left I began to feel cramping again. This was sort of a relief cause I knew if something was going on they would be able to see it. I was taken to see the u/s specialist and he did a VERY thorough exam. Judah looked great and I got to see more than I have been able to in the past u/s I've had this pregnancy.
Dr. P didn't see any reason to be concerned about the baby (she said he look perfect :) but was concerned I was having cramping again. She checked me out and thought it best to start me on medication to prevent contractions and a hormone to strengthen my uterus--just in case the cramping is from stretching, especially along the scar tissue from my two previous c-sections. So with that she also wanted to see me in one week to make sure the medication is working and I am well enough to head back home. I ended up staying one more night cause of some stomach issues that they were not wanting to cause dehydration. But eventually yesterday I was released. I'm staying in a small company apartment that is just a minute walk from our good friend's house. So I'm not completely lonely but definitely missing my men.
I'll be checked out next Thursday by Dr. P and hopefully headed home by next Friday. While I've been gone Stan has almost completed the move and done double parent duty. We have great friends in our city that have been helping out in so many ways. I am so thankful for them and everyone that has been praying for us over the past 5ish days. I have felt the prayers. :) Sorry this ended up being such a long story. I'm looking forward to more good news to come in the future. For now Judah and I will be enjoying some good food, quiet and rest.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
a little bit silly
OK, so I have a silly movie star crush. I know I'm not the only one out there but I feel I should confess. Who is it you might ask (as if you can't see the picture)? It is...
James McAvoy.
The first thing I remember seeing him in was Narnia as Mr. Tumnus. Definitely not a flattering role as far as appearance but I thought he did well in the film which is a favorite childhood story. But to be honest it was his role as Tom Lefroy that started the crush. I love this movie and could watch it once a week if Stan would let me--sometimes I just watch it on my free afternoon while he is in class. I love Jane Austen's books so a story about her life, even if it's the Hollywood version, is interesting to me. I love the story of Jane and Tom's love, unfavorable ending and all. I do realize that James is not actually like Tom but the beauty of just knowing him through movies is that I can imagine him to be however I please. Now let me clarify that I do NOT have adulterous thoughts about him and Stan is fully aware of my crush. Whenever I watch one of his movies he always asks 'Did you need to see your boyfriend again?' Well...yes I did. I know he's also been in Band of Brothers, but I have no interest in seeing that. We have Atonement, and while I think it was really well done, it's so depressing I'm just no capable of watching it over and over. We also have Wanted, which I can somewhat tolerate but it also isn't the best for watching over and over. I read that he will be in a movie with his wife soon so I'll just wait for that. Right now you are probably laughing at me and my inanity but just be honest with yourself, there is an actor out their that you could watch over and over. So now what I want to know is...Who is it? Your turn to share.
James McAvoy.
The first thing I remember seeing him in was Narnia as Mr. Tumnus. Definitely not a flattering role as far as appearance but I thought he did well in the film which is a favorite childhood story. But to be honest it was his role as Tom Lefroy that started the crush. I love this movie and could watch it once a week if Stan would let me--sometimes I just watch it on my free afternoon while he is in class. I love Jane Austen's books so a story about her life, even if it's the Hollywood version, is interesting to me. I love the story of Jane and Tom's love, unfavorable ending and all. I do realize that James is not actually like Tom but the beauty of just knowing him through movies is that I can imagine him to be however I please. Now let me clarify that I do NOT have adulterous thoughts about him and Stan is fully aware of my crush. Whenever I watch one of his movies he always asks 'Did you need to see your boyfriend again?' Well...yes I did. I know he's also been in Band of Brothers, but I have no interest in seeing that. We have Atonement, and while I think it was really well done, it's so depressing I'm just no capable of watching it over and over. We also have Wanted, which I can somewhat tolerate but it also isn't the best for watching over and over. I read that he will be in a movie with his wife soon so I'll just wait for that. Right now you are probably laughing at me and my inanity but just be honest with yourself, there is an actor out their that you could watch over and over. So now what I want to know is...Who is it? Your turn to share.
Friday, April 3, 2009
weekend plans
Taking inspiration from Jessi I thought I would give a brief over view of our weekend. With a move coming up I really want to be productive toward getting it done each day but life must go on as usual and to be honest on Saturdays I just long to be lazy. Since we don't have class on Fridays the weekends that we aren't traveling (or Stan isn't out traveling--part of his work) we kinda take a long weekend. So here is the hopeful run down of this weekends plans.
-This morning we did some shopping and I will spend mid afternoon cooking and the rest of the afternoon cleaning at the new place-- the painters left it a HUGE mess. Side note: The paint in the house came out great all except the blue in our room which came out much brighter than desired. I'm hoping once we get our black furniture and brown curtains, quilt and chaise lounge in there it will tone it down. Really hoping considering Stan has pretty much said I will just have to deal with it.
-My friend's husband is coming into town and the guys are having a Man Hike Day tomorrow. I'm cooking dinner for all the guys--Chicken Tetrazzini, Bob and Larry Salad (tomato and cucumber for those who are confused, Stan gave it a new name) and Blondies with Vanilla ice cream for dessert.
-Stan will be gone all day tomorrow which means I get to enjoy the leftover blondies all on my own. :)
-Since the hike much too strenuous for a preggo and two boys under 4--oh and we weren't invited--we are hanging out at home. While at home I'm planning on catching up on some emails and maybe even write a few bogs. I have one in my head about my incredibly silly Movie Star crush.
-I will hopefully pack up the office tonight after our guests leave and the boys are in bed. Then tomorrow I will work on my clothes. Since the weather is changing it works out that I can pack up my Winter stuff for the summer and go ahead and have it ready for storage.
-Pretty sure I will crash tomorrow night. A full day on my own with the boys and trying to be productive will certainly wear me out.
-Sunday is fellowship at our house! Fun but also sometimes draining. So after lunch we will crash for a nap and most likely a lazy evening at home!
So nothing too exciting, well other than for Stan getting to have fun man day, but hopefully I can be productive so we can start moving little stuff during the week and then, weather permitting, moving all the furniture next Thursday! Anybody got something really exciting going on?
-This morning we did some shopping and I will spend mid afternoon cooking and the rest of the afternoon cleaning at the new place-- the painters left it a HUGE mess. Side note: The paint in the house came out great all except the blue in our room which came out much brighter than desired. I'm hoping once we get our black furniture and brown curtains, quilt and chaise lounge in there it will tone it down. Really hoping considering Stan has pretty much said I will just have to deal with it.
-My friend's husband is coming into town and the guys are having a Man Hike Day tomorrow. I'm cooking dinner for all the guys--Chicken Tetrazzini, Bob and Larry Salad (tomato and cucumber for those who are confused, Stan gave it a new name) and Blondies with Vanilla ice cream for dessert.
-Stan will be gone all day tomorrow which means I get to enjoy the leftover blondies all on my own. :)
-Since the hike much too strenuous for a preggo and two boys under 4--oh and we weren't invited--we are hanging out at home. While at home I'm planning on catching up on some emails and maybe even write a few bogs. I have one in my head about my incredibly silly Movie Star crush.
-I will hopefully pack up the office tonight after our guests leave and the boys are in bed. Then tomorrow I will work on my clothes. Since the weather is changing it works out that I can pack up my Winter stuff for the summer and go ahead and have it ready for storage.
-Pretty sure I will crash tomorrow night. A full day on my own with the boys and trying to be productive will certainly wear me out.
-Sunday is fellowship at our house! Fun but also sometimes draining. So after lunch we will crash for a nap and most likely a lazy evening at home!
So nothing too exciting, well other than for Stan getting to have fun man day, but hopefully I can be productive so we can start moving little stuff during the week and then, weather permitting, moving all the furniture next Thursday! Anybody got something really exciting going on?
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