My Soundtrack

I think one reason that I love movies so much is because it's life set to music. I've always loved music. There is always something to go along with my mood or change my mood. I can find sad songs to go with a sad mood, cause sometimes it's ok to be sad and cry--which music is one of the main things that can bring me to tears. Or I can find songs to pump me up and get me motivated to do something I really don't feel like doing--lately that's studying. Many times I can even truly experience God through worshiping with song. I like to sing at the top of my lungs (cause He likes the sound of it even if no human does) and just give everything in me to HIM.

Lately I've discovered a way to have my very own constant soundtrack for life. Almost like I'm in a movie of my life--I still haven't decided who will play me--like a continuous story that inspires me to keep going, especially on my bad culture shock days. What I do is just put on the ipod and go. I can choose the theme for that day or moment. So when I'm working out I can put on some kick butt music like Black Eyed Peas (the edited version) and get a good beat going. Or when I'm on my way to class I can put on 'To The Ends of The Earth' or 'You Said' and I remember why I'm going to class in the first place. It's almost like the music gets me to that meaningful realization moment that we see in every movie. Then best part is my theme music can change instantly as life gives me new challenges.

This may sound completely crazy to you. Not everyone connects with music. And really not everyone enjoys the range of music that I enjoy. I have a song to go with almost every memory that I have. Moments in high school, silly boys I once knew--and the break ups to follow, times with Stan from eight years ago when we started dating up until now. Some songs can take me back to driving in the car at a particular time going to a particular place. Nothing special about that time other than I just felt something and the music now goes along with that feeling. There are even a few songs that make me want to pick up a remote control, ruler or hairbrush and sing into it while doing a choreographed dance. I can thank Kitty, Tara and Carly for that. All this to say I'm really excited about the upcoming scenes in my movie life. I'm really excited about the music that will go along with those scenes. For today at least. Tomorrow may bring a sad song with tears, but oddly enough, I think I'm excited about that too.

Wordless Wednesday

Jesus, Thank You

This is a song that I have sung countless times, but this Sunday it was just the words I needed. Meant to share a couple of days ago but it's been raining here since Friday which means 'by law' I have to take a nap. You know you do it too!


Jesus, Thank You

The mystery of the cross
I can not comprehend,
The agonies of Calvary.
You, the perfect Holy One,
Crushed Your Son,
Who drank the bitter cup
Reserved for me.

Your blood has washed away my sin.
Jesus, thank you.
The Father's wrath completely satisfied,
Jesus, thank you.
Once your enemy,
Now seated at Your table,
Jesus, thank you.


By Your perfect sacrifice
I've been brought near.
Your enemy You've made Your friend.
Pouring out the riches of Your glorious grace,
Your mercy and Your kindness know no end.

Your blood has washed away my sin.
Jesus, thank you.
The Father's wrath completely satisfied,
Jesus, thank you.
Once your enemy,
Now seated at Your table,
Jesus, thank you.

Oh the shame

So I've discovered something about the education system here. In turn I have then discovered something about myself. The education system here uses the shame technique to get the students to perform. What I have discovered about myself...this does not work for me. My teacher is not mean. He is very friendly and always interested in our health, family, etc. It's just that we are called out in front of all the other students (my class only has four) and repeatedly told of our weaknesses and mistakes. Also because of this culture it is common to laugh at someone when they make a mistake--it's not mean here. Most days this doesn't bother, I can take it. But yesterday was almost too much. I really think a lot of it had to do with the time of the month, but still, there comes a time when just a little encouragement can do wonders. This is a VERY hard language, but my teacher thinks it's easy...maybe that has to do with the fact that he's been speaking it his WHOLE LIFE. I've only been in class two months. I mean give me a break.

I must say, I am very thankful for my tutor. She is very encouraging and also a good friend. Not to mention she is a fellow believer so she desires for me to learn language for the same reasons I do. I really don't know what I would do without her. So I will persevere through the last couple of months of this semester and then next, I hope with all my heart, I will not go to formal class and only meet with my tutor. It's just not fun to feel stupid.

Wordless(ish) Wednesday

(This is not completely wordless--obviously--but I wanted to apologize for the unoriginal pictures this week...it's a crazy week for us and so I'm just digging out two of the cutest faces you ever did see)

A new END

Since we moved here things have been crazy. It's been like a constant stage of adjusting. Adjusting to culture. Adjusting to new shopping situation. Adjusting to a new diet. Adjusting to being a student while being a parent. Adjusting to life here. It's had it's ups and downs. Stan and I discussed on our date how we have been struggling. Many reasons as to why have to do with time management. How do we fit it all in? All shopping and 'tasks' take twice as long as we are used to. It's virtually impossible to study with a almost two and three and a half year old running around. Class time is doubled when you add in travel time. So what has been neglected most? Our marriage. It became obvious on our date as we were talking about it all. So what to do, what to do?

We have decided our day needs an 'End'. We were going strong until 11-11:30 (or later) and then crashing, only to get up and start over. Some very wise friends, with four years under their belts, gave us some great advice. End the day, spend time together and then get to bed. We are more effective when we are well rested and have healthy relationships. So the new plan looks like this...

7:30-8:00 Boys in bed (that part isn't new)
8:00-9:00 Stan and I finish up study time or household stuff
9:00-10:00 End the day and Stan and I have down time together (this could include watching TV, reading, talking--whatever, as long as we do it together and we aren't doing any kind of 'work'--obviously exceptions will have to be made some times)
10:00 Bed time.

Seems simple but I can't tell you how many nights I've been up until 12 or 12:30 studying, finishing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, etc. and sometimes simultaneously. It's just not healthy. There are more changes to come during our day but this will be our first step. Once we feel well rested I can't imagine how well the day will go. After a week I'll let you know how the new 'End' goes.

Date Day

Yesterday Stan and I got to have a whole day date. We have only had one date since we got here July 1st and that was for Stan's Birthday on July 21st. We were way over due for time out together. It's hard here cause we don't have friends that are willing to switch off with us (we do have friends that are willing to watch the boys but I always feel guilty if I can't return the favor in some way) and we don't have family near by. All that to give a lot of excuses for Stan and I neglecting our time. It had really begun to show. We were on edge with each other, not communicating well AT ALL and just having it a bit rough. So we decided to just make a time and not let any change in plans get in our way. Yesterday Da Jie was here to stay with the boys and my friend came by from 12-2:00 while Da Jie had her break. I felt confident the boys would be fine all day so Stan and I just went and enjoyed a beautiful day in Old Town.

We left around 10, took care of a few errands and then headed to Old Town. We went to The Tower, where we ran into a group of our friends. They invited us to join them but we declined (hard for me to pass up fellowship) so we could really enjoy our time together. We had a great meal, talked and laughed like we hadn't done in months. We made plans to make our days and weeks go smoother, so hopefully we can stick to it. After lunch we walked around looking in shops and hoping to find something to cover the big ugly yellow framed area above our bed. We have a great idea, now we just have to find what we are looking for. After walking for about an hour we decided it was time for dessert and coffee. We headed to the Sweet Tooth enjoyed some sweets and then it was 5:00 time to head home.

We got home to two excited little boys and one not too tired looking Da Jie. I fixed pizza for dinner put the boys to bed (actually Kirby didn't eat and just went straight to bed because he didn't feel well and had a bit of a fever, I knew he felt bad if he turned down pizza--he's better now). Then Stan and I finished off our night with a movie. I have to say it has been one of my best days since we moved here. I loved that we didn't have to be anywhere specific or do anything in particular. We just got to be together. We are going to be sure there are many more days like yesterday.

Wordless Wednesday

Something new

My friend Kitty showed me something she's seen on other blogs...Wordless Wednesday. It a post just of pictures, usually funny. I've wanted to start this since I started this blog but I'm really bad about forgetting my camera everywhere I go. I'll see things while I'm out that are definitely worth sharing but have no way of doing so. I've tried taking pictures with my cell phone but the quality is terrible. So I'm going to make a serious effort to do better. Sometimes the pictures will be funny, but also I'm going to include pictures of things I think are beautiful, interesting, sad, etc. So be prepared for anything. Feel free to interpret the pictures in any way you like. Enjoy!

A good Word...

Don't you just love when you get into a week of a study that smacks you in the face and is just the best thing possible for you right then. I had a week like that. This week in the First Place study (I'm not really doing First Place but I am enjoying the FP study on Life Under Control that I'm doing right now) was all about Luke 9:23.

23 Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." NIV

So basically He is asking us to do three things--deny self, take up our cross and follow him. Now lately I've been thinking I've been doing a good job of this. I mean HELLOOO, look at where I am. But then I was ever so gently reminded that I may have taken a major life step toward those three things but those three things are important in EVERY aspect of my daily walk. So what, Father isn't impressed by my obedience, pleased maybe, but not impressed. I was just doing what He asked me to do. But this week reminded me that I am asked to deny self, pick up my cross and follow Him through all things. There are many areas where I have not been good at denying self. So if I can't even do that, then I'm pretty sure the two things that follow have been forgotten.

Another verse from this week, John 15:5.

5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." NIV

In the ESV the the word remain is abide. Do I abide in my Lord each moment of everyday? Not so much. Do I want to, definitely. I am the branch of His vine, but I'm not going to bear the fruit I am called to if I'm not abiding in Him. If I'm not abiding in him not only am I not going to bear fruit, but I can do NOTHING! Wow. This has really got me thinking on a lot of things in my life.

Neither of these passages are new to me. I've read them a million times. But this week Father used them to speak to me in a fresh way. I LOVE IT! I absolutely love to get a new meaning from something I feel familiar with. That's what I love best about Father's Word. It never gets stale.

One word answers...

I've seen a few other people do this on their blog so I thought I would try. For a person that has MANY words on any given subject this may be kind difficult.

Rule: Keep every answer to one word (this was hard to do!)

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? office
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? neuritic (ha ha, just kidding), loving
5. Your father? easygoing
6. Your favorite thing? relaxing
7. Your dream last night? random
8. Your dream/goal? fluent
9. The room your in? office
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? stairs
12. Where do you want to be in six years? here
13. Where were you last night? Maggie's
14. What you’re not? disciplined
15. One of your wish list items? baby
16. Where you grew up? Charlotte
17. The last thing you did? comfort
18. What are you wearing? pajamas
19. Your TV? off
20. Your pet? fish
21. Your computer? Mac
22. Your mood? lazy
23. Missing someone? everyone
24. Your car? sold
25. Something you’re not wearing? watch
26. Favorite store? internet
27. Your summer? busy
28. Love someone? definitely
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? movie

Going Public

OK, I've kept this to a limited readership for many reasons, that are too numerous to name, but now I'm thinking about making this a public blog. I'm starting to try to write more, cause even just talking about my craziness helps. I'm not even sure how many of the people I've invited actually read this and if no one cares I might feel like a failure. This is really an outlet for me and it doesn't really matter what other people think, but let's be honest, we women do pay attention to what other people think. Especially since anyone who is reading now is a person that is important to me and that I love. Oh the debate in my head. If I list out the facts maybe it will help me decide.

No:
-I write this for myself and as an outlet for my thoughts.
-Most everyone I love already reads this.
-Security Issues

Yes:
-It may be interesting or helpful to someone else.
-I'm a little bit crazy (thanks mom--we have now established I get it from you) and some people may find it amusing.
-It doesn't really matter either way.

OK, there you go. 3 for each which doesn't help me at all. I hate being indecisive.

The Quest for Furniture

When we moved here some wonderful friends who used to live in our city, but don't currently, gave us the opportunity to buy some of their furniture at a great price. We are so glad we did that because there are families that moved here at the same time we did and are still without some vital pieces, ie: kitchen table, dressers, desk. I can't imagine how frantic I would have felt to find and buy furniture if we didn't have any. We talked about after a year or so replacing some things, the furniture here can be just as expensive as in the States but not always the same quality. There is a place in the capital city, KM, that will hand make furniture in any style you like and it's for a great price. Everything we looked at here was WAY expensive and not always made with real wooed, so after looking at the stuff from this place we have decided this is our best option. The biggest problem is getting it the 4 hours from there to here is not cheap. Until we had a friend say he was going to get some things made...ah ha, an opportunity to share the cost of a moving van. So now Stan and this friend are planning to take a trip to KM next Friday to order some furniture. This is way ahead of our decided schedule but we already have some money set aside so why not? Here are some items we are thinking of. These are all more for style and not color or size, the pictures are a combination of Ikea, Pottery Barn and Target.

Dinning Area
Try to imagine the table only.

Four chairs and then the bench on one side. Stan likes natural wood so I can handle that for the kitchen/dinning area.

Office
A corner desk and probably a small side desk. The bookcase will be this style but maybe taller and slimmer. We are thinking a medium stain for the office.


Master Bedroom
I really want to do a black stain (like on this bed) for our bedroom.


I like this dresser and bedside table for number of drawers but like the simpler style of the slightly bigger one on the bottom.

My week off...

Well, from school at least. This week was a national holiday so we had the whole week off from classes. That was really nice. I still spent several hours writing characters and going over vocabulary. So much fun. Also, Da Jie had the week off so she could spend time with her family and it was time to harvest her fields. I'm not complaining at all that she wasn't here--other than we all really missed her. She does an amazing job for our family so we are happy to give her time off whenever she needs it. Plus it was really nice to have time with just the family at home. However, it totally made me appreciate even more how much she does around here. As a family we create an unbelievable amount of dirty dishes and other messes. When we first moved here I had so many reservations about having someone come in to do house work and help with the boys--only for the fact of that having been my sole responsibility for 3 years. Now I know why everyone who has done this before advised us to find a house helper. I can't imagine adding school for Stan and I into this week and all the other things that took up my time. Not to mention that my house is filthy cause I didn't do nearly the complete job of cleaning that she does for me...I didn't have time. How does she do it? I may have to learn the term Superwoman in Chinese. After all that I did this week, I'm looking forward to the end of vacation week. I will gladly trade the dishes and household cleaning for class and studying any day. I love that I can spend time with the boys and focus on the reason we are here. I know many of you who read this work full time while doing all the normal mommy activities and don't have a house helper. Please just imagine if everything you did outside your home (and some things inside your home) were done in a language you barely understood and you were without many conveniences you have used your whole life, for example: car, dishwasher, normal grocery store, etc. I have to say , I really look forward to a REAL week off...in about 18 years.

My Nemesis

If you read my intro post that listed 100 things about me, then you may remember that one of my least favorite things to do is the laundry. When I lived in the States I would do it all in one day and spend the whole day doing it so I could be done and not have to worry about it for another week. The worst part of it is I don't trust anyone to do it but me. I like to sort a certain way, wash using combinations of detergent and oxy clean for different loads and each load has a certain temperature water that I use. I know what you are thinking, I hate it because I make it so complicated. You are probably right, but with knowing all that, I still have to do it my way.

The good thing is that since moving here I have simplified the laundry task (not by choice but by necessity). And since I have a house helper (we call her Da Jie--Big Sister, the boys call her Da Ma--Big Mama) the task for me is cut by I would say 40%. Now I can only wash with cold water. I don't have hot water that runs to the laundry room at all. I'm hoping this will change soon--we are going to buy a small hot water heater to run in there and the kitchen since this winter will bring ice cold water for dishes and hand washing in the kitchen. So as the washer fills up I add the detergent and oxy clean (which I brought with me but can be bought in the capital city-PTL) and then the clothes. I have to be very careful to make sure nothing is tangled. Sounds weird, I know, but the washers here don't have the thing in the middle to help keep things separated. So by the end of the first spin cycle everything is knotted and twisted together. As soon as I load I have to set the timer for the end of the first cycle so I will be sure to add the softener in time. I never used softener before, just got dryer sheets. But you can't get dryer sheets here, so unless I want to use stiff towels and wear crunchy feeling underwear I'll deal with the timer thing. I'm pretty sure this is where a Downy Ball would come in handy, but those aren't available here and I would have to watch the load the whole time to make sure it released at the appropriate time. Just the first time...maybe two. So once that process is finished I am glad to accept help. When the load is finished Da Jie or myself will move the load on the the dryer. PTL I have a dryer. Those are slightly hard to come by here, I don't know one national that owns one. The dryer takes 1.5-2 hours to completely dry a load. And I do the smallest loads possible without completely wasting water and detergent. I've even started hanging some items (like jeans) until they are mostly dry and then just letting them get soft in the dryer. When they are finally dry either Da Jie or I get them out, fold them and put them away. I hate folding, mostly cause the boys clothes are small and numerous. The culture here will wear the same thing several days in a row. I'm not that culturally savvy but I will wear some things several times before they get washed. We aren't to that point with the boys yet. Their clothes get dirty. Mostly because they are covered with food (well Bennett) or dirt if they've been outside. So, anyway, folding all those little shirts, socks, etc. seems to take an eternity. That's only slightly exaggerated.

I hope this gives you insight to one part of my neurosis, I mean life here. I only take credit for making it slightly more difficult than necessary. And I need to thank Rachel B. for the best spot treater in the world. She gave me a bottle of De-Solv-It and it's the only thing I've ever seen get out a grease stain completely (which we get quite frequently when eating lots of greasy food with chopsticks), sometimes even after a previous wash and tumble in the dryer.

Wow, long post for this subject. Seriously, I've got to get a grip.