time away

I think every mother has those days when they think 'if I could just have some time away I could really get some sleep, do some things that I want to do and get some piece and quiet'. To be honest I always wanted a vacation (or even just a couple of days) to myself, however, two weeks was more than I bargained for. It was a little like when I was single and lived by myself. For the 6 months between moving out of an apartment with a roommate and when Stan got home from China (even though we didn't live together those two months between him getting home and our wedding we spent every waking moment possible together) I spent most of my time alone. Now of course I had nights out with friends, quiet nights of watching TV and many church things, not to mention I had a full time job that I spent a good 9 hours at each day. I never felt lonely and loved having the independence. It was my one time in life to be completely on my own, free to do whatever I liked and I LOVED it.

But it wasn't long until I was married and all my free time was spent with Stan. This was such a sweet time too. He had been gone for two years, we were newly weds and it was amazing to live with your best friend and the person you couldn't imagine being without. And 14 months after we got married we welcomed Kirby into our lives. A year and a half later Bennett was there. So in less than 3 years I went from an independent single woman to a wife and mother of two. I have never wished those things away but there were those days that I thought back on those quite evenings and lazy Saturday mornings of doing whatever.

It took about two days away (well after I was out of the hospital--didn't have a lot of time without interruption there, there was always someone taking my blood pressure and checking my liquid input and output, seriously is nothing private anymore) for me to realize that I am way past my single independent days. I know the quiet was good for me but seriously after a week I was more than ready to come back to my family. Even when Stan thinks I'm talking crazy, he understands and knows me best. Even when Kirby and Bennett are whiny and driving me nuts (yes I will admit to saying 'Boys, you are driving me crazy! at times) they will turn around seconds later to give me a hug and kiss or tell me that they love me. I missed my three men so much. Stepping out of customs at the airport and seeing my three guys there to surprise me (I told them I would meet them at the hotel to save Stan the extra headache) each holding a rose was the best medicine I could have had. Bennett and Kirby both looked as if they had grown a ton and Stan had the accomplished look of a father who managed two weeks of single parenting and a move, not to mention being incredibly good looking (and maybe *slightly* weary). I didn't even have words, all I wanted was hugs and kisses from each of them.

Next time I'm having one of those 'I need a break' days, I'm going to think back to my week of solitude and be thankful for what I have.